Cullen Residence, Emmett Talking
by fantasyfan7
Summary: Emmett has a problem with unwanted people calling when he is left alone on a Saturday. I stink at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

**An: This is my first attempt at writing a fan fic so don't be to hard on me please!**

**Disclaimer: The fabulous Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse, No matter how much I wish I did. **

**Cullen Residence, Emmet Talking.**

3rd person pov

One day, all of the Cullens except Emmet went hunting.

While he was home alone, the phone rang.

"Cullen residence, Emmet talking."

"Hi. I'm Carl. I'm calling to ask when I can sign you up for the American Red Cross Blood Drive,"

"Uhh.. Me being around lots of blood isn't exactlly a good idea because, uhh… it makes me faint?"

"Right then, next Monday at 1:30 p.m. Thank you sir."

"But-"

_Click_

"Great. Just great."

Emmett then when back to destroying ninjas on his Wii.

"Mwhahah Take that and that and-"

Suddenly the phone rang again.

"Hello, Cullen residence."

"Good day. I'm Spring and I'm for the Happy, Girly, Sunny day gardening club. Would you like to join?"

"Well actually, I'm a guy and uhhh… I'm allergic to the sun."

"Great, I'm glad you're interested. We meet every sunny Saturday from 11:30-1:30 in the Virtually Treeless Park."

"But I-"

"And at the end of the year we are going on a trip to Voltara, Italy to see the under ground gardens! Well, see you soon!"

"Wait-"

Click

"Well today's off to a wonderful start, isn't it?" Emmett muttered to him self.

He was still muttering five minutes later when the phone rang again.

"Cullen's, Emmett hear."

"Hi, this is Tammie and I'm calling to you about the save the Grizzly Bears and Mountain Lions foundation."

"Sorry, but I don't think you want me in that because I hunt Grizzlies uhh... during hunting season."

"He he. You're funny. Any way, we meet every first Thursday at 2 o'clock. See you next meeting!"

"Hold it! I don't wa-"

Click

"-nt to join." He sighed;" Now I'm signed up for something else."

He had just sat down again when, predictably, the phone rang again.

"Hello, Cullen's"

"HeyEmmett.Guesswhat?

"What?"

"WellIwasboredandIfoundthisgiantthingfullofenergydrinkandIhaditall.ThenIfeltreally hypersoIranaroundthehousefivetimesandthenIwasthirstysoIdrankalltenlitersofDr.PepperI foundintherefrigeratorandnowIfeelevenmorehyper,soIdecidedtocallyouguys!IsEdwardthere?"

"No, the rest of them are out hunting but WHY ON EARTH did you drink all that sugar and caffeine?!?!

"I just told yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu, I was bored!"

"Okay Bella, I think you just need to calm down and-"

"Bella will calm down when Bella wishes!"

"Okay Bella, go rest and I'll call you when Edward gets home."

"Fiiiinnnnnnnnneee."

"Allright, bye."

"Bye!!!"

"That was so weird." Emmett once again muttered to himself as he hung up the phone

Less than five seconds later, the phone was ringing again.

"Hello?"

"Hi! I'm Lauren and I want YOU to join the Forks High School Varsity Cheerleaders!"

"Okay, For starters, I'm a guy and second, I don't want to cheerlead I want to get back to my video game."

"Super! I'm sooooooo happy that you're joining the ranks of the cheerleaders! We meet-"

"Wait! Gosh what's with you guys? I'm a GUY named Emmett!!!!!!"

"Yeah right. Everyone knows that Emmet is a girl's name. Any way, we meet everyday right after school 'till five. See Ya' Monday!"

Click

Emmett slammed the phone down and turned around when, lo and behold, the phone rang again.

"Argh!" he screamed as he reached for the phone.

"What?"

"Good-envening-sir.I'm-calling-to-intrest-you-in-this-once-in-a-life-time-offer-of-a-brand-new-Hover-vacume-cleaner-yours-for-just-three-easy-payments-of-"

"AHHHHHHH!"Emmett screamed. He was finally feed up. He threw the phone as hard as he could at the door.

But, of course, who would walk in but Bella and the rest of the Cullens with Bella at the front.

The phone, having been flung with Emmett's super vampire strength, hit Bella (who was less hyper now) right smack in the middle of her forehead, knocking her over before even Edward could cauch her and knocking her out at the same time.

Carlisle, being a doctor, immediately dropped down to make sure Bella was all right.

Edward glanced from Bella to Emmet angrily.

"Crap,"said Emmett as he started to run with Edward right on his heels.

Jasper decided to join Edward because the phone hit him after it bounced off Bella.

Esme, Alice, and Rosalie looked from Carlisle and the slowly reviving Bella, to Emmett being chased around the house at vampire speed. Then they turned to each other and voiced the same opinion:

"What the Heck?"

Moral: Don't leave Emmett at home alone on a Saturday. It tends to get Bella hurt.

**A.N.: Thank you four reading it! Sorry I can't spell very well. Yes I know Esme wouldn't have said that. Please review!**


	2. A Plan for the RC

**Sorry it took so long to update. My focus can be extremely wavering. Especially since I got to meet Stephanie Meyer on Monday and got my books signed! She even wished me happy belated birthday (which was 8-7-07)! It took 2 hours to get to it and 3 hours of waiting, but my best friend and I did it. Plus we get E.C. from our language arts teacher (she said she'd fail us if we didn't get her copy of Eclipse signed)!**

**Disclaimer: I've meet Stephanie and I sure am not her.**

Bella's POV

OW, OW, OW, OW, OW! My head hurts so much! I can't believe my timing. Leave it to me to get hit on the head by a phone going 175 miles per hour! Carlisle says I'm lucky that I don't have a concussion or a broken skull.

"Yeah, lucky," I muttered. Carlisle of course heard me and had to stiffen a laugh.

I am going to have to get Emmett back for that but now isn't the time.

Fifteen minutes later, we (and by we I mean the rest of the Cullens) had calmed Edward, Jasper, and Emmett down and we had all sat down to listen to Emmett's story.

"…and then the vacuum salesman and I was so feed up, I threw the phone and that's when you guys came in."

As Emmett finished, Alice, Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper were laughing their heads off, Carlisle looked pensive, I was rubbing my head, and Esme kept looking at me with concern. Emmett started glaring at his giggling siblings. Then there was silence.

"So… what are we going to do?" I asked to break the silence.

"Well, let's start with the most difficult," Carlisle sighed, "the Red Cross."

"We could just blow it off." Alice offered.

"Unfortunately, I'm a doctor so I can't feel right about letting you do that."

At this point, Edward and I both realized that most of the Cullen's were giving me side long glances. I'm positive I paled noticeably.

"Uh-uh, no way!" I said waving my hands in front of my face," No, no, no! I won't do it! You'd have to drag me there."

Edward growled at Emmett.

"What?" I asked.

"He was thinking maybe he should have thrown another phone at your head and there is absolutely no chance of me letting him do that."

"Bella," Emmett whined," you're the only one who could go."

"He dose raise a point, someone will have to go," Jasper just _had_ to say.

I frantically tried to think of someone I could talk into going for me. Finally, I struck gold.

"Ooh I like your plan, Bella," Alice said with a smile. Edward nodded with approval.

"Uhm excuse me, those of us who can't see the future or dig around in peoples heads would like to know what we are doing." This was said by the queen of bluntness, Rosalie.

I opened my mouth to explain, but the Queen of Wreaking other people's fun, Alice, got to it first.

"Bella's going to use a semi-elaborate plan to trick Mike Newton into going for her."

A round of smiles passed around the room as we passed on the details.

**Okay. I'm really sorry it took so long and I know that nothing really happened but hey, it's something right? Right?!?! Sorry it's real short. I'll try to have the next chapter in the next couple of days. Hopefully it will be longer. Bye!!!**

**ff7**


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